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Journal Entries - Love & Marriage

Excerpts from Journals and Calendar of Phil Roets

“It is not good for man to be alone.” Genesis 2:18.
• Without the opportunity to share, man lives in sterile loneliness.
*Phil’s comment on Genesis 1:27. “Calendar,” April 12.

“I will make him a partner like himself.” Genesis 2:18.
• A clear statement of the equality and partnership between men and women.
*Phil’s comments on Genesis 1:27. “Calendar,” April 13.

“Find joy with the wife you married in your youth.” Proverbs 5:19.
• Choose wisely - grow daily - live happily - share fully. *
* “Calendar,” August 9.

“Better open rebuke than a voiceless love.” Proverbs 27:5.
• Love that does not express itself soon dies.
“Calendar,” November 9

May 15, 1985.
I’ll close (this journal entry) with the statement of my love. I love you to the farthest stretches of the universe, and to the depths of the sea, as far as eye can see, ear can hear and spaceship can travel.

June 10, 1985.
As we watched Masterpiece Theater last night, I was thinking of the great number of couples I worked with in my years as a priest. Always I started with four to six hours of listening and probing just to get to the root of the problem. This, of course, was when both parties cooperated and really were looking for a solution.

September 17, 1985.
As we talked about love and marriage, last night, I thought of many aspects of love that I hold essential. I think the basic test of love is service in small details of daily life. These services have to be consistent, gladly performed and personally directed. When these services stop or are grudgingly given - then love is on wobbly legs.

September 23, 1985.
I hope the depressed feeling will have lifted today. I’ve learned from experience there is not much I can do to help you except to listen. I used to get upset when you would question my love but I find this is just to insure that I express it. As I have told you so often, I feel that actions are far more powerful expressions of love than words. I feel I perform many little services for you each day. I never do these as a duty or begrudgingly. I do them because I love you. The day I would stop loving you, that day I would stop doing them.

What I would miss if you were not around would make a long list. The thing I have noticed the most when you were gone overnight is the chance to sit down and converse with you about the day, new ideas, opinions of other people, current events and memories. I think this has always been true. Conversation with you has always been stimulating, challenging and positive.

I love you, Sweetie. I love you totally and only. I don’t share my love for you with anyone. It is and always will be one and only.

June 15, 1986.
Thank you for the Father’s Day card and all the nice things it says. I don’t react strongly when I look at the cards but I am deeply appreciative. I can say it better with a pen.

June 22, 1986.
By the way, you can discard the score from last night’s Scrabble game. I put a special section on my disk upstairs and recorded my win already. I’ll keep track of your losses at the same time.

I love you, Sweetie! I am not gloating over my abilities at Scrabble. I thought your attempt to manhandle me afterwards was a low way to get even. My warm, tender, affectionate love is all yours. Ex imo corde, Phil

January 28, 1987.
As for response to your feelings last night. I gave none because I could not see how my being disturbed would help you. I figure if I let the strong feelings churn my innards, then I am letting my enemies control me as they did before. So I am to a stage where I can wipe them out.

April 23, 1987.
I’m glad you had a nice trip to Breda, yesterday, and a pleasant visit. Your Mom will probably always wonder if there was some way she could have cared for your Dad at home but there isn’t. As an outsider, I commend the wisdom and the courage shown in following the conviction to get the help of the Nursing Home.

May 26, 1987.
I love you, Sweetie. We’ll get everything to work out to the good. I say this not because of a Providence or some such. I say it because we have faced bigger obstacles before and surmounted them.

July 4, 1987.
I love you, Sweetie! I am a person in turmoil but I express it differently. My love is all yours. I don’t see the future as bleak but challenging. When you run ahead of the pack, the territory is often empty but the pack is nipping at your hells. We’ll run together - toward our ideals as they unfold.

September 29, 1987.
You ask why I love you. You are the only total confidante I have ever had. I feel totally at ease with you. That’s for starters.

December 13, 1987.

Cor ad Cor loquitur (Heart to heart speaks)
Tamesi verba non formantur. (Even though words are not formed)
Acta majori cum sono dicient (Actions - with greater sounds )
Quam omnia verba in universo. (than all the words in the universe.)
Ex imo corde, (from my heart), Phil


More entries on Love and Marriage will be added as all 92
personal journals of Phil Roets written to his wife are review
ed.

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